The Guide to Taking Care of Naruto
by Angel of Death-Freeze Over
Summary: A helpful guide for all by Iruka Umino! Warning: Cussing
1. Chapter 1

Title: The Guide to Taking Care of Naruto

Summary: A helpful guide for all by Iruka Umino!

Disclaimer: I will never own Naruto. End of story.

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><p>Index:<p>

Chapter 1- Be a mother hen constantly.

Chapter 2- Have bandages at all times for emergencies (always dealing with him).

Chapter 3- Check up on him at least 3 times a week.

Chapter 4- Treat like a 3 year old. That's his mentality.

Chapter 5- Have extra money in case he wants ramen. : (

Chapter 6- Make sure he eats fruits and vegetables (Worse than taking on the 4th Hokage and Kyuubi no Kistune).

Chapter 7- Beat back any Seme that try to get in his pants (such a cute uke).

Chapter 8- Keep all perverted things away from him (Jiraiya's books).

Chapter 9- Make sure he doesn't over train.

Chapter 10- Keep pedophiles (Orochimaru) away from him.

Chapter 11- Make sure he brushes his teeth each night.

Chapter 12- Worry about him 24/7. Even in your SLEEP!

Chapter 13- Always have him in ear-shot or sight range.

Chapter 14- Keep him away from Gai and Rock Lee.

Chapter 15- Destroy those that wish to harm him.

Chapter 16- Tie him down when in the hospital so he can't run away.

Chapter 17- Keep expired milk away.

Chapter 18- Try to get rid of the jump suite.

Chapter 19- Try to get him to brush his hair.

Chapter 20- Attempt to get him to read.


	2. Chapter 2

Title: The Guide to Taking Care of Naruto

Summary: A helpful guide for all by Iruka Umino!

Disclaimer: I will never own Naruto. End of story.

Talking: "Hello."

Thinking: 'Hello.'

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><p>Chapter 1- Be a mother hen constantly.<p>

All was fine in the Hokage's office as the third did his paper work with a little fire jutsu. More like attempted as the paper wouldn't burn. Just as he was about to go to his stash of Icha Icha novels the door to his office burst open with a loud crack against the wall as to notify all that it was broken and was followed by a scream of "HOW COULD HOW HOKAGE-SAMA!"

The Hokage got a cold-sweat running down the back of his neck as he realized who it was. You would have to be crazy not to. It was no other then. . .

Iruka Umino.

'Crap.' "Ah Iruka how may I help you", the Hokage asked as he pulled himself together. He was sure Iruka could smell fear miles away.

Iruka replied calmly but you could hear the acid towards the Hokage in his voice, "I would like to know what you were thinking when you decided to send Naruto on a C-CLASS MISSION!"

"Now, now Iruka he is a Shinobi of the village and-"

"HE IS JUST A LITTLE BOY! WHAT IF GOT ATTACKED BY MISSING-NINS, OR GOT LOST, OR RAN OUT OF RAMEN, OR WAS-"

"IRUKA", the Hokage screamed with a little added KI.

"Hai?"

It's perfectly fine. All they are doing is walking a bridge builder back to his town. Naruto even has Kakashi to watch over him."

Taking a deep breath Iruka replied, "ok", walking to were the door used to hang he stopped for a moment and turned back the Hokage with a look in his eyes that promised pain, "but if I hear he got even a little scratch I will be back to have a discussion with you Hokage-sama. Well have a nice day."

With a quick wave Iruka was gone. The Hokage let out a breath. 'I almost died from a mother hen Iruka. Thank Kami-sama it's only a simply little guarding mission.'

Just as the Hokage was about to go grab his Icha Icha novel Pakun appeared before him. 'I wonder why Kakashi sent me his summon.'

"Hello Pakun, what brings you here?"

"Kakashi wanted me to tell you that the mission has become an A-class and that his team has decided to continue. Also he would like to inform you that Zabuza Demon of the Mist is involved."

'OH SHIT!'

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><p>AN: Tell me what you think of the changes please?

Bye ^-^


	3. Chapter 3

Title: The Guide to Taking Care of Naruto

Summary: A helpful guide for all by Iruka Umino!

Disclaimer: I will never own Naruto. End of story.

Talking: "Hello."

Thinking: 'Hello.'

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><p>Chapter 2- Have bandages at all times for emergencies (always dealing with him).<p>

Iruka was humming to himself as he prepared dinner for Naruto and him. 'I wonder where he is. He was supposed to be here a half an hour ago.'

Just before Iruka could start having another panic attack, someone knocked at the door. 'It must be Naruto.' "I'm coming!"

When Iruka opened the door he was expecting Naruto with a big smile on his face and asking what's cooking. He expected Naruto all sweating and exhausted after training so hard. Naruto trying to apologies and explain why he was so late.

What he didn't expect was for Naruto to be covered in what looked like blood. No that was not expected. So he did the first logical thing. He fainted.

When Iruka woke up he saw a 'blood' covered Naruto looking worriedly at him. 'Hmm Naruto got here and he's covered in blood. HE'S COVERED IN BLOOD!'

"DON'T WORRY NARUTO I GOT THE MEDICAL KIT RIGHT HERE!"

Naruto's calls for Iruka to wait went unheard as Iruka jumped and pulled a medical kit bigger than him out of nowhere. "Now what happened? Tell me who did this? I will make them pay. They will be wishing for thei-"

"IRUKA-SENSEI!" Panting from yelling so loud Naruto stared down Iruka to make sure he didn't speak again. "I'm not hurt. You do not need to pull out the medical kit and this is not blood."

"It's not blood", Iruka slowly questioned.

"Hai, it's not blood. It's paint."

"Oh it just-", Iruka looked puzzled. "How did you get covered in paint?"

"Well we had a D-class mission today and what happened was-"

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><p><strong>(Flash Back)<strong>

"AWWW! Kakashi-sensei why do we have to do these stupid missions? Why can't we do something cooler? Like protect a princess, or kick some ninja but, or-"

"WILL YOU SHUT UP, NARUTO-BAKA!" Sakura delivered a sucker punch right in the middle of his face sending him down in a small crater in the ground.

"Aww Sakura-chan", Naruto whined.

"Ugh, why can't you be more like Sasuke-kun? He so perfect and smart."

"Teme."

"SHUT UP, NARUTO-BAKA! He's so stupid. Right Sasuke-kun?"

"Hm."

"Teme."

Kakashi sweat dropped as he watched his team before he decided to break it up. "Hey now. Lets get this mission done, ok?"

"Hai sensei."

"Now then we are already here." Looking they saw a muddy yellow house with the paint peeling off. "Ok, the mission is to paint the whole house red. The paint s over by the house already. Have fun. Ja."

Before they could utter a word of protest he disappeared in a swirl of leaves. "Better get started", Sakura spoke out in the silence and walked towards the house. The two boys followed her.

3 Hours Later

"UGH, THIS IS TAKING FOREVEEEEEEEEEEEEEEER!"

"SHUT UP NARUTO-BAKA! I DON'T LIKE THIS EITHER!"

"Dobe."

"Teme."

". . . dobe."

"TEME!" Naruto tried to climb up the latter to get to Sasuke. As the latter shook from his clumsiness the bucket of paint on top fell on him covering him in red paint.

"TEME LOOK WHAT YOU DID!"

"You did it yourself. . . dobe.

"UGH! I'm going home to change."

"OH NOT YOUR NOT NARUTO-BAKA! YOUR STAYING HERE AND HALPIGN US FINISH!'

"But Sakura-chan."

"DON'T SAKURA-CHAN ME!"

". . . fine."

**(End of Flash Back)**

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><p>"-and that is why I'm covered in red paint."<p>

"But why didn't you change you where half an hour late."

"The mission took too long and I was running late and just decided to come here instead of stopping home."

"Ok, but don't ever scare me like that again", Iruka looked at Naruto with a smile and was given a big grin in return. "Why don't you go take a shower and I'll bring you some clothes."

"THANKS IRUKA-SENSEI!" Naruto ran off into the bathroom.

'That kid. Always making me worry about him." A crash came from the bathroom before he could move.

"DON'T WORRY NARUTO I HAVE THE MEDICAL KIT RIGHT HERE!"

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><p>AN: Hope you like it. Send me any ideas you have for the future chapters please!"

Bye ^_^


	4. Chapter 4

Title: The Guide to Taking Care of Naruto

Summary: A helpful guide for all by Iruka Umino!

Disclaimer: I will never own Naruto. End of story.

Talking: "Hello."

Thinking: 'Hello.'

* * *

><p>Chapter 3- Check up on him at least 3 times a week.<p>

Naruto was walking around his apartment trying to find some ramen to make. Whining he thought, 'why can't I find any! I would go to Ichiraku's but I'm broke!' Before he could start crying alligator tears he heard a knock at the door. 'Hm, I wonder who that it.'

Opening the door he saw standing there in all his glory the Great, Powerful, AWESOM-

It was only Kakashi. Nothing special there.

"Hi, umm Kakashi-sensei what are you doing here?"

"Oh can't I come see how my favorite student is doing", Kakashi asked trying, and failing, to appear innocent.

"But you come like three times a week. Why is that?"

"Ah, no reason at all", Kakashi sweated as he pushed the book "The Guide to Taking Care of Naruto" deeper into his pouch. "Any ways are you going to let me in?"

"Oh yeah! Come on in."

Looking around Kakashi swore he saw the apocalypse all in the tiny apartment. "Um, why don't we go out", Kakashi asked as he attempted to secretly move away from the green sludge monster from under the garbage.

"Only if we go to Ichiraku's and YOU PAY!" Naruto was grinning, 'he he I might just get a free meal yet.'

Thinking about it Kakashi gave a last look at the green sludge monster that was closing in on him and fast. "Sure whatever you say Naruto. Let's leave. NOW!"

Grabbing Naruto, Kakashi ran faster than the 4th Hokage himself all the way to the ramen stand. Panting as he tried to forget the horrible monster.

Naruto stared at Kakashi with high respect in his eyes, "WHOA! Sensei that was so cool!"

Glaring at him, "go sit down."

"HAI!"

As they sat their eating their ramen, or in Kakashi's case saying goodbye to his savings, Kakashi thought of something and asked Naruto.

"Hey Naruto."

'Gulping down the food in his mouth, "hai?"

"Why don't you ever clean up you apartment, you could even pay a d-rank mission for someone else to clean it?"

"Ah, I don't really feel like it, but hey maybe you could help me. You always come three days a week."

Staring into space at the dear horror of cleaning Naruto's apartment he went to decline the offer. But before he said a thing Naruto jumped of the stole and turned to Kakashi with a big foxy grin.

"Well thanks for the ramen. see ya tomorrow Sensei. Oh and I can't wait to start cleaning my apartment with you. Bye!"

Kakashi watched as Naruto ran home before he could utter a word.

'Well I guess it will be me vs. the green sludge monster. BRING IT ON!'

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><p>AN: So how was this one? Wasn't too sure what to do for this one. Please send me some ideas on future chapters!

Bye ^_^


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